Love In All Its Forms: More Than Just Saying "I Love You"
Tzoumas, J. (2020). 5 Love Languages – Overview. Creative Solutions Behavioral Health, PLLC.
There are many different ways to love. Words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, and physical touch, are commonly known as the five love languages. When we think of love languages, oftentimes we immediately associate them with romantic partnerships. That being said, love languages can also exist in friendships and familial relationships. Clearly, the biggest factor in the way we express love, comes down to the type of relationship in question. To highlight a few ways to express love, we have affectionate love, enduring love, and self love. Some of these are very easily defined, while some are a bit more nuanced.
For example, self love is the way in which a person fills their own cup and shows appreciation from themselves to themselves. Doing something we love just for the enjoyment and special feeling we get while being present in the moment with ourselves is a great example of self love.
Affectionate love is more often than not the love we express to our romantic partners. This is commonly approached with our partner’s love language in mind. It is a feeling of deep fondness or emotional closeness between you and another person.
Enduring love is the type of love that is steadfast and everlasting. It is a commitment to love someone no matter what and to look past their faults. This can exist in romantic relationships, familial relationships, or friendships alike.
There are a number of different ways to say “I love you”. There is the obvious, “I love you” and then there are phrases like “have you eaten?”, “let me know when you get home safe”, and “I saw this thing and it made me think of you”. All of these statements express love in different ways, but can be used interchangeably in various types of relationships.
I’ve put together a playlist of love songs that is linked here and I’d like to briefly acknowledge the different types of love expressed in some of these songs.
This is a song that I use in music therapy sessions with older adults, commonly in memory care settings. I introduce it to them as “a song full of good advice” which is a way to demonstrate you care for someone, a form of love. Phrases like “take good care of yourself” and “be careful” are expressions of love in non traditional ways.
As a music therapist, I’ve used this song in a wide variety of sessions. This is a great song with a great message. It’s a song that says “I’m a phone call away, no matter what, you just let me know” and that is a deep expression of love. It is so important to have a strong support system around us. To have relationships that are so enduring, that truly all you have to do is call is a blessing.
“Have I Told You Lately (That I Love You)” is the most traditional love song of the 3 I’ve highlighted. With phrases like “I love you”, “I adore you”, and “this heart would break in two if you refuse me” it is clear that this song is about a romantic relationship. In a music therapy setting, I would use this song to encourage emotional expression through music. Because there are so many versions of this song out there, (Bing Crosby and The Andrews Sisters, Elvis Presley, Hank Williams, Van Morrison, Rod Stewart, the list goes on) this song is a well known song amongst many generations. Even if you don’t know all the words, this is a song with a familiar melody to play instruments to.
Button Up Your Overcoat by Ruth Etting is a “love song” from the 1930s. The lyrics are:
Button up your overcoat
When the wind is free
Take good care of yourself
You belong to me
Eat an apple everyday
Get to bed by 3
Take good care of yourself
You belong to me
Be careful crossing streets, ooh ooh
Cut out sweets, ooh ooh
Lay off meat, ooh ooh
You’ll get a pain and ruin your tum-tum
You’ve Got A Friend by Carol King is a “love song” from the 1970s.
When you’re down and troubled
And you need some love and care
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer, or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there
You’ve got a friend
Have I Told You Lately (That I Love You) by Lulu Belle & Scotty (and various other artists) is a “love song” from the 1944 musical film Sing, Neighbor, Sing.
Have I told you lately that I love you?
Could I tell you once again, somehow?
Have I told with all my heart and soul how I adore you?
Well, darling, I'm telling you now
This heart would break in two if you refuse me
I'm no good without you anyhow
Dear, have I told you lately that I love you?
Well, darling, I'm telling you now
In summary, love comes in many forms, from self-love to affectionate and enduring love, each offering a unique way to show care. As demonstrated through the songs shared, music serves as a powerful medium for expressing love, conveying timeless messages and fostering emotional connections across generations. Ultimately, love—through its many expressions—is a force that unites and strengthens relationships, making it essential to recognize and appreciate the diverse ways we give and receive it.
Author: Kelly Weaver, MT-BC
Editor: Cassadi Kulak, MT-BC